ADULT ANNI
It was 1985. I’d graduated high school the year before with High Honors but didn’t have the money to go to college. So, for the first year after graduation, I worked whatever jobs I could find, mostly minimum wage jobs like waitressing and at fast food restaurants. Having no real hope for the future I wanted, I decided to enlist in the military.
I’d spent three years volunteering for the Civil Air Patrol, so I knew how to march and about the history and mission of the Air Force. I knew they would train me for a job and give me food, housing, and clothing in the form of a uniform. I also knew that I’d have to go through basic training, aka boot camp.
The idea of going to boot camp seemed to scare some people, but it didn’t scare me. In fact, one of the things I liked about being in Civil Air Patrol, or, as we called it, C A P, was that my squadron was often visited by real Air Force airmen. On those nights, we’d show off our drilling routines in front of the guest Sergeant in return for the opportunity to ask him questions about what life was like in the “real” Air Force. This was how I learned what it was like to go through boot camp.
SERGEANT
You guys are pretty good at marching. But you won’t have to do much of that if you enlist. Only in basic training.
MALE TEENAGER
That’s cool. Was boot camp as hard as they say it is?
SERGEANT
(laughs) Boot camp is all about mind games. The whole point of boot camp is to build esprit d’corp. Get you thinking like everyone else so you follow orders. They teach you how to march and make you do a lot of chores. If you keep your head low, you can make it through boot camp just fine. But it’s going to change you no matter what you do.
ADULT ANNI
I remembered some of those talks but I wished I’d paid more attention to them at the time. My dream was to get a college scholarship and become an engineer. We all know that life doesn’t turn out the way we dream.
Anyway, my recruiter gave me an airplane ticket to San Antonio and the day finally came when I was on my way. It was a long flight, giving me plenty of time to convince myself that I wasn’t going to let the military mind games get to me. I was in this for the money and an opportunity to train for a job.
I would keep my head down, avoid attention for 6 weeks and graduate. How bad could it be?
It didn’t take long to find out. They were waiting for me at the airport.
MALE TI :
(yelling) Tench hut! Get in formation and stop yakking! You’re not at home anymore, you’re in the Air Force now. You there, you think you’re special? Stop picking your nose and line up with the rest of the babies. You think just because it’s one in the morning you deserve some sleep? You don’t get to sleep when you want to, you misfits, you sleep when the Air Force tells you to!
ADULT ANNI
I got into the formation and we were bused to Lackland Air Force Base. We marched up to a dormitory, had a bunch of rules shouted at us, and finally were allowed to climb into our bunks.
Reveille plays
FLIGHT MEMBER 1
Agh, I swear they’re playing reveille earlier today. Didn’t we just go to bed?
FLIGHT MEMBER 2
And this is only Day 3. Think we’ll get any sleep at all before we’re through?
FEMALE DORM CHIEF
(tired and resigned) Everyone up and out on the tarmac for PT. Come on girls, let’s go!
ADULT ANNI
That was our dorm chief, trying to be encouraging. She was chosen the first day of our training. She was responsible for getting all of us to classes on time and for making sure we had our dorm in inspection order.
She wasn’t very happy about it and I guess she missed her children more than we thought because by Day 4, she and 7 other girls were gone.
By this time, I felt like I’d been pretty successful at keeping my head low. I was almost at the end of the first week of training and I hadn’t gotten into any trouble. I didn’t mind the drill practice because I already knew how to do it. My plan was to just fake being bad at it until all the other girls got good, too.
But that morning I was exhausted and wasn’t thinking straight.
TI
Alright you low lifes, you haven’t managed to get yourselves in step yet. Today we’re going to spend the whole morning drilling! No lunch until you get it right! About, FACE!
(shuffling feet noises)
You there! What was that you just did?!
YOUNG ANNI
Sir, an about face, SIR!
TI
You think that was how we do an about face in the real Air Force?
YOUNG ANNI
Sir, yes Sir!
TI
What’s your name, recruit?
YOUNG ANNI
Recruit Harmon, Sir!
TI T
Well, Recruit Harmon, you’re now the Dorm Chief for Flight W048. Get your fat butt up here and take charge!
ADULT ANNI
Now I’d done it! I left my place at the back of the flight and marched up to the front. I had no idea what I was supposed to do. By way of teaching, Sergeant Gordon gave me orders and I relayed them to the flight, and we continued in this way to finish the drill practice. I was nervous, having the eyes of all those girls on me. And I was worried that I’d mess something up and get us all into trouble.
That had to be one of the worst days of my life. And it was about to get worse.
SQUAD LEADER 1
(loud whisper) Get out of the chow line! You aren’t supposed to be here!
YOUNG ANNI
What?
SQUAD LEADER 1
The chiefs all go in separately. Haven’t you paid attention? You sit at that little table in the middle of the cafeteria with the other chiefs.
YOUNG ANNI
Oh, I didn’t know. Thanks!
ADULT ANNI
That was only the first of many mistakes I made over the next few days. Another was not knowing that, when I was finished eating and left the cafeteria, the entire flight also had to leave. I’d been leaving as soon as I finished eating because I thought the TIs in the snake pit would come after me!
I may have been an honor student in high school, but basic training was turning out to be more difficult than any of my AP classes. It was obvious that I wasn’t the person the flight would’ve chosen to be Chief. But it became more obvious one morning when one of the squad leaders approached me as I was making my bunk. My mistakes kept getting worse and I had no idea what to do about them.
Still, I knew I wasn’t a screw up at everything. I was good at physical training because I’d been a runner in high school, and drill practice was a breeze, but I just wasn’t a leader. I had no idea how to motivate or encourage these women and any time they messed up, we all got in trouble. All I could do was help them out the best I could.
Eventually I got some of it sorted out.
(a whistle blows twice)
YOUNG ANNI
Double time, harch!
FLIGHT MEMBER 1
(breathing hard) I hate running every morning, I can’t do this. I think I’m going to drop out.
YOUNG ANNI
You can do this. Just run a little slower. I’ll run with you. It gets easier, believe me. If you walk, we’ll all have to do extra pushups. It’s only a mile. C’mon, we’ll do this together.
ADULT ANNI
After another week, I’d figured out how to help some of the girls with studying for their Air Force history tests, or their drill movements or with getting their areas quickly ready for inspection. During our study sessions, I finally confessed that I just wanted to make it through training without any problems. In return, they echoed my thoughts, but added that it seemed easier if we helped each other. We were building a kind of esprit d’corp, if not in the way the Air Force intended.
Then we got a surprise.
TI TI:
All right, recruits. get in formation. I’ve got an announcement.
You’re looking better during drill practice. When I look at this flight, I don’t see any more recruits. You’ve earned the right to be called Airmen and you get to choose a name for yourselves. You’ve got until lunch time tomorrow. When you come up with a name, put it on a piece of paper and the chow runner will put it in that sign holder over there when you get permission to enter the cafeteria. Do you understand?
ALL
Sir, yes Sir!
ADULT ANNI
A group of us gathered in the common room that evening to choose a name for our flight.
I listened to them for a while, but no one could agree on anything. I never spoke up, even though I also thought we should have a unique name. I couldn’t think of anything, either.
When we got into formation the next morning, we still hadn’t come up with a name. The squad leaders continued to argue about it as we waited for our turn to go to PT. Then it seemed like inspiration struck.
SQUAD LEADER 3
We’d better come up with something soon. Nothing y’all said has been dazzling so far.
YOUNG ANNI
Dazzling…that gives me an idea. What if we do something really different?
SQUAD LEADER 1
Like what?
YOUNG ANNI
When I was in CAP, we used to come up with drill routines. Ways of marching around that were showy.
ADULT ANNI
After a few minutes, the squad leaders and I worked out a routine. The outer squads would sidestep in and out of the formation at the same time as the inner squads would do very slow turns. We called it the Razzle Dazzle Half Step and taught it to the rest of the flight by lunch time.
TI
So, Chief, what’s the new name for Flight W048?
YOUNG ANNI
The Razzle Dazzle Flight, Sir!
TI
The…the Razzle Dazzle flight? Is that a joke?
YOUNG ANNI
Sir, no Sir!
TI
(trying not to laugh) You sure about that? Why in the world would you Airmen want to be called the Razzle Dazzle Flight?
YOUNG ANNI
With permission, Sir, we can show you!
TI
By all means…show me.
YOUNG ANNI
Flight, Tench- hut! Razzle Dazzle Half Step, Harch!
ADULT ANNI
And we did it, even though some of the girls in the back of the flight still had a bit of trouble. The flight split up, some of them going left, some right, and the girls in the middle twirling around in opposite directions, just like we were flag twirlers at a high school football game. From then on,we’d do our Razzle Dazzle step every time we marched in formation to a class or activity. Sometimes we’d come to a stop, and I’d forget to call out the step. Then the squad leaders would whisper to me “razzle dazzle, razzle dazzle!” and we’d do it again.
On graduation day, some of the girls came up to me to say how proud they were of making it through one of the hardest times in their life, and how glad they were that I’d been their Chief. We were all happy to be going on to duty assignments, yet at the same time we felt a loss. We’d endured so many hardships together and, in the end, made our experience uniquely ours, together. I still wanted to crawl off and do my own thing at times, but if I ever had to lead a bunch of misfits again, I knew I could do it.
Before boot camp, I thought the word “honor” meant to excel above my classmates, a selfish definition that didn’t help me when times were tough. Basic training taught me that honor is about respecting and helping the people I live with no matter who they are, where they come from or what they believe. And Patriotism wasn’t about devotion to ideals of nationalism under a flag, it’s about devotion to one another, seeing beyond our individual differences and supporting each other in ways we have in common.
Someday I might go back to that CAP squadron and set those kids straight. When they ask me how to go through boot camp, I’ll tell them the truth.
YOUNG ANNI
I made it through just fine by not keeping my head down. Respect the people you live with — you’ll get through it together. But it will change you, no matter what you do! It’s up to you to decide if you want to change for the better.
