Isn’t it neat when you experience an “a-ha!” moment?
Maybe it’s because we don’t have them very often. I can’t figure out what makes them unique…is it because (as Robert Wight puts it) we have fulfilled something we’re curious about, and by ending this state of ignorance we experience a subtle moment of bliss?
What about the times when we didn’t know we were curious, or didn’t know we were ignorant? That’s the type of “a-ha” I had this morning. A sudden realization that I was suffering from a particular mental delusion.
Oh boy does that sound weird. But let me explain…
I was listening to Noah Rasheta’s podcast Secular Buddhism. By way of backstory, I “discovered” Noah over a year ago, maybe two years, when I started walking on a daily basis and was looking for podcasts to listen to. I’ve read a lot of books about Buddhism and Taoism in my lifetime, so his messages were not new to me. However, his delivery style is entertaining, his analogies are appropriately thoughtful, and he has helped me to keep focused on the path that is important to me.
In my opinion, Noah’s strength as a teacher lies with his ability to establish dialogue with those who are at the beginning of a meditation/mindfulness path. He also stays within the realm of Western Secular Buddhism, which means he doesn’t dive into some of the nuances of Buddhist philosophy. This is all well and good unless, like me, you want to contemplate some of the nuances. Lately, I tend to listen to and read a larger variety of sources and neglect Noah’s podcast for weeks at a time.
Today, however, I tuned in. I am thankful I did, because I was reminded once again of how I can always learn something new even when I thought I’d already learnt it.
He spoke about our tendency to believe that things will be better in the future. This has two effects. First, it puts the present into competition with the future. If our future circumstance will be better, then today’s circumstance must be worse. Consequently we become attached to this belief and neglect attention to the present.
This is always a good reminder. Anyone who has practiced meditation for a while knows this. In fact, it’s the basis of mindfulness.
But…it’s really easy to be mindful of the present while I’m meditating. It’s not that difficult to be mindful of the present all day long at times when my mind isn’t focused on my art or a book.
It’s harder when making important decisions.
And that was my “a-ha” moment. I realized that when I’m making decisions, I’m often not deciding from the present at all. I’m standing in today while arguing with some imaginary future version of my life, trying to make sure she’ll be happier, safer, wiser, more fulfilled, better equipped, etc. But that future self doesn’t exist yet. She’s a rumor. Meanwhile, the present self, the only one actually here, is quietly waiting to be consulted. Maybe mindfulness isn’t only about noticing the breath or the birds or the warmth of the coffee cup in my hands. Maybe it’s also about noticing when I’ve turned the future into a judge, and gently inviting my attention back to the person who has to live this day.
originally posted at annettezimmerman.com
