The Tick Terminators

For this month’s Storytelling Radio Show submission, I started with the traditional writer’s ritual of staring into the void and hoping the void had a better idea than I did.

Since the theme was something like outdoor fun, I asked Anne, our director, if she had any historical interviews or local stories she wanted me to use. She didn’t have a historical subject in mind, but she did tell me a funny story about something that happened when she and her husband went for a walk.

That gave me just enough of a spark. I took their ordinary outdoor adventure, added a heroic dog, a swarm of tiny villains, and a full old-radio-serial superhero treatment. The result was “The Tick Terminators,” because sometimes the smallest enemies deserve the most dramatic music.


opening music reminiscent of old radio serial, creating an atmosphere of mystery and adventure

NARRATOR

(dramatic) In the heart of the bustling town of Jonesborough, where danger lurks in every shadow, a brave young woman and her loyal canine companion stand ready to defend the innocent from the forces of evil. Join us now for another thrilling adventure of…The Tick Terminators!

SFX

Sounds of parking, car door slamming, footsteps.

KYLE

It’s a beautiful day for a walk in Persimmon Ridge Park! I’m glad you suggested it, Anne!

ANNE

Yes, it is. Just listen to those birds!

SFX

Bird sounds

KYLE

Have you got Charley?

CHARLEY

Woof!

ANNE

Keep your senses sharp, guys. There’ve been whispers of trouble brewing in these parts.

CHARLEY

Arf arf!

SFX

Sounds of walking

NARRATOR

The golden sun climbs high into the sky as the happy family wanders along the steep trails of Persimmon Ridge.

CHARLEY

(happy barking)

KYLE

(panting) I think Charley needs a break.

ANNE

Are you sure it’s Charley that needs the break? Okay, that big rock looks like a great place to sit down for a few minutes.

SFX

Soft sounds of underbrush rustling

KYLE

Did you hear that?

SFX

Louder sounds of underbrush rustling. Sounds of millions of tiny legs tapping on pavement.

CHARLEY

Woof!

ANNE

(shocked) TICKS! It seems we’ve stumbled upon their dastardly scheme to invade Persimmon Ridge Park!

CHARLEY

(growling) Grrrr….

Battle music underlaying Charley’s barking and Kyle and Anne’s battle cries

ANNE

Hold them off, Charley! The town of Jonesborough depends on us!

CHARLEY

(heroically) Woof woof!

NARRATOR

As the fight intensifies, Anne whips her homemade tick repellent device out of her pocket, it’s (describe a part of the weapon) gleaming with arcane energy.  With lightning speed, she charges forward. The air sings as she swings the enchanted device.

KYLE

Anne, it’s hopeless! There are too many of them!

NARRATOR

(excited) Will our heroes emerge victorious against this creepy-crawly menace?

(climactic music plays for a few seconds)

SFX

A loud crash

ANNE

(triumphant) We did it! Another victory for the Tick Terminators!

CHARLEY

(panting happily) Arf arf!

NARRATOR

As they stand triumphant, a crowd gathers.

ALL CAST

(cheer and applaud)

RANDOM CITIZEN

(grateful) Thank you, Tick Terminators! You’ve saved us all!

ANNE

(modestly) Just doing our duty, ma’am (or sir). Come on, guys. There’s no rest for heroes like us.

NARRATOR

The sun sets on Jonesborough, and our superhero family returns home, ready for supper. Little do they know, the menace isn’t through with them yet…

Underlay happy music

ANNE

Home sweet home. I think we’ve earned a well-deserved rest.

CHARLEY

(happily) Woof!

SFX

Footsteps

Music suddenly changes to anticipatory horror music

NARRATOR

As they enter their cozy home, the happy family is unaware of the danger lurking in the shadows.

Music suddenly stops

SFX

Soft rustling sounds

ANNE

(alarmed) Charley, what’s that on your fur?

CHARLEY

(confused) Arf?

ANNE

(shocked) Oh no! It’s….it’s our arch enemy, the Dread Tickster!

KYLE

The supervillain of all ticks! No!

ANNE

Not in my house, you bloodsucking fiend!

Battle music

SFX

Pots and pans, pottery crashes, doors slamming, footsteps…culminating in a beat of silence and the sound of running water from a faucet

ANNE

I’ve got you now!

KYLE

Good idea, flushing it down the drain, Anne!

CHARLEY

(in agreement) Arf arf!

NARRATOR

But as our happy family turns towards their dinner table, a sensation of being watched tickles their senses.

(slasher sounds, like from Psycho)

ANNE

It’s back! That vile menace must have crawled up the drain! It’s….it’s unstoppable!

KYLE

(authoritatively) Fear not! I’ll save the day!

(climatic music)

SFX

A loud squishy sound

ANNE

You squashed it! Oh thank you, darling! You saved us from certain doom!

KYLE

(modestly) It’s all in a day’s work, my dear.

NARRATOR

(concluding) And so, our heroes emerge victorious once again. Thanks to the bravery and quick thinking of Anne, Charley and Kyle, Jonesborough is once again a safe and happy place. Tune in next time for another thrilling adventure of “The Tick Terminators”!

Closing music